I was relieved to be on the other side of surgery, but feeling impatient about getting back to my routine. My body was craving movement. My lack of activity, compounded with the anxiety of my injury, hadn't allowed me to sleep soundly throughout this entire process. Whenever life throws stressors and challenges my way, I turn to movement to keep a sound mind and body. I couldn't do that this time, so had to find another way. One of my best friends, who was with me the day of the accident, invited me to a meditation class at SoHo Yoga in Hermosa Beach, which sounded like the perfect first workout post surgery. Because of the meniscus repair, I had to slow down my ACL physical therapy and wasn't able to start moving right away. Ariel and I weren't sure how much I could do, how I would get up the stairs, how I would lie down or sit, but we were determined and went anyway. I was so glad that we did.
Once we arrived, we checked in and met our instructor, Greg. He told us that it might only be the two of us, which I thought was pretty great. Ariel and I had experienced a lot of magical moments together in life already, so the opportunity to share another spiritual journey with just her had me feeling pretty good. We all chatted for a brief moment about my injury and how long the process had been so far, then slowly made our way upstairs. Luckily, it was just the two of us. We rolled our mats out in the center of the room, and kept my crutches close by. With a little help, creativity, and patience, I made it down to my mat. Greg talked about the process of the meditation, various states that we would enter, and how he would verbally guide us through. Before we began, we each chose a card from the 'Messages from Your Spirit Guides Oracle Cards' that would be the theme of our individual meditation. I couldn't believe what I pulled: The Wolverine. Here I was, six weeks into a long ass recovery process, tired, irritated, defeated, and the universe gave me exactly what I needed. The Wolverine card stated this: "You're a lot tougher than you think you are". I hear you universe, I'm listening. Still.
I spent the next 60 minutes digging deep into my thoughts. Lying flat on my back, I traveled into a deep meditative state, honoring various states of emotion as they passed through my body. The color purple popped up many times, thoughts of my career, my love life, and a very vivid image of Bali and the sunset that I was missing. Purple had been a theme for the past year for me, symbolizing royalty, nobility, power, and ambition. I knew I possessed all of these traits and this color reminded me to stay true to my inner strength, even though I was feeling weak. I acknowledged each of my thoughts as they came up, but let them pass as I moved onto the next, never dwelling. I focused on releasing and concentrated on my breath. I came in and out of an almost sleep like state a couple times, but then snapped back into my surroundings.
I forgot about my knee injury and how much work I had ahead of me to get back to my version of normal. In that 60 minutes, I changed my perspective and it became a learning experience that I would be able to share with others, and hopefully help them overcome obstacles and injuries.
While this session was a little challenging emotionally, it brought me a sense of peace. Simply focusing on my breath, and letting go, was therapy for me. I was reminded that I am strong, and that I will get back to the top of the mountain, and that I will push on. Instead of looking at the chaotic picture I had been for the last several weeks, I was looking at each individual component of my life, how sound they were, and how I would piece them all back together with ease.
What did the universe teach me this time? Wolverines are tough as hell, and so am I. It didn't feel like a setback anymore, just another part of my story, and a great one at that.
As always, thanks for the magic.